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Guidelines to Help Prevent Child Abduction
Not long ago a mother was shocked to be reunited with her daughter. The young woman had been kidnapped as a child 20 years ago. This is not an isolated story as it is one of many worldwide. For a parent, it is ghastly to imagine we live in a time where these things occur. However, one of the ways we best protect ourselves and our children is to prepare for the worst and live within guidelines designed to contribute to that safety.
A SEDUCTIVE FALSEHOOD
A dangerous lie is a lie you want to be true. These are lies that you believe because the truth would be uncomfortable. “Do what I say, and you won’t get hurt,” is a lie as old as the father of lies. No one wants to get hurt, so they cling to the hope that compliance is a way to escape harm. The same thing happens when parents think that safety guidelines don’t apply to their own circumstance. To imagine that their child might be taken is nightmarish.
PREPARED, NOT AFRAID
One way parents and children can better secure themselves is by accepting that we live in a world where predators look for easy prey. Arm your children with the information they need to avoid being targeted and how to react if approached. Instead of being afraid, a child can gain confidence that he knows how to avoid dangerous circumstances and can immediately respond to an emergency.
FIND EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES
Take the time to speak with your child about the definition of a stranger. Seize opportunities at home and while running errands to remind your child what he has learned.
• Demonstrate to your child how he can choose a safe stranger to ask for help in an emergency.
• Play a game with your child to help him remember who is a stranger. Don’t forget that strangers aren’t always scary, funny looking or old. Sometimes, an abductor isn’t even an adult, but a bigger child.
• Show your child safe places he can go to for help. These may include libraries, police stations, restaurants, stores, a trusted person’s home, etc.
• Take your child people-watching and discuss the difference between someone who is polite and someone that is overly friendly. Help them identify when someone is ‘too’ nice or eerily perfect.
THINGS YOUR CHILD NEEDS TO KNOW
• If your child doesn’t know a person, that person is a stranger.
• Don’t even take a short walk with a stranger. NEVER go with someone you don’t know.
• Never go into a house, building or car with a stranger, no matter if they promise a reward, toy, candy or anything else, not even if the stranger knows their name. Yell “NO!” and run away.
• If you are endangered, it’s okay to strike out and hurt an adult. Children need to know that they aren’t being bad or rude when they escape and find help.
• An adult in need of genuine help won’t seek out a child. Instead, teach your child to shout, “NO!” and run for help. If an adult needs help, he or she can ask another adult to assist. Something is definitely not right when an adult seeks out a child for aid.
These scenarios (and similar ones) should be avoided:
• A person holding a leash and asking for help finding a lost puppy.
• Someone needing directions.
• Drivers asking for help with mechanical difficulties.
• A person that tries to get a child to help find something in a house or car.
Implement these as soon as possible:
• A secret word is one tool that can be used to signal a child that his parents have sent an approved individual. A child will know that even if the person knows his name, he shouldn’t go without hearing the secret word. Change the word often.
• Make it your custom to tell your child who and when another adult will be driving them.
• They should never accept gifts from a stranger unless parents are present and give permission. A child should understand that he is to refuse gifts offered when parents are absent. A predator can use gifts as bait. Candies can be laced with drugs or harmful agents placed in gifts.
• They should trust their instincts. If a situation makes a child feel threatened tell him to run. They should run for help if they feel scared. By RUNNING to the nearest safe place, a child can then locate an adult and ASK FOR HELP.
• It is more important to be safe than it is to be polite. Better safe than sorry.
• When dealing with a stranger that is threatening, remember the three R’s: Recognize, Respond and Report.
ENJOY A GAME OF MAKE-BELIEVE
• Pretend to be a stranger asking for directions or help to find a lost pet.
• Demonstrate for your child how he can position himself just beyond the arm’s reach of a stranger.
• Practice running away for times when a stranger gets too close or grabs another child. Explain to your child the importance of getting help right away rather than staying there when another child Is grabbed.
• Set up times where you encourage your child to scream and make enough noise to attract attention.
• Help your child learn how to break an abductor’s grip by kicking and twisting.
• Show your child how to claw an abductors face (eyes, ears, mouths & nose) with their fingers to get away.
TEACH CHILDREN TO BE A DIFFICULT TARGET
• Show your children how to look out for each other and stay in a group.
• Train children to never go with those who invite them to leave the group.
• When playing, your child should be in a group or with a safe buddy.
• Before a child leaves your home (or wherever you sent him), require that he check first with you.
• Organize parents in your neighborhood to teach their children these tips.
By incorporating these guidelines as part of your normal routine, your child should not become afraid. These items can be taught just as parents teach their children to wear seatbelts, watch for traffic and wash their hands before eating to safeguard their physical well-being.
For more helpful tips like this, visit No Greater Joy - a ministry dedicated to sharing the principles of wholesome child training and joyful family relationships.
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